My Search For God

I wrote this when I was in high school.

People are always talking about God; how wonderful and beautiful He is, but I’ve never seen Him. So, one day, I decided I’d go look for Him.

I started looking for Him in my hometown. I walked down the main avenue searching through old buildings and deserted shops. Some of which windows were broken out and paint was peeling. God was obviously not in any of these places, so I just kept walking.

I walked down the highway, looking for God on the sides of the road, where it’s crumbled and overgrown with weeds. Perhaps god would be lying there, lost and forgotten. Once again, I failed to find Him, so I just kept walking.

I came upon a wheat field, blowing in the spring breeze, golden and beautiful. “God could be here,” I thought, “amongst the grain,” so I stepped off the road and looked within the waves of wheat.

Hours passed as I walked through the filed, my bare legs being brushed by the grain, yet God could not be found, so I just kept walking.

After what seemed like forever, I reached the mountains. I began climbing upwards towards the top. I stopped only for a moment to rest, and noticed the awesome beauty around me.

Wild flowers bloomed in all different shades of the rainbow. The sound of trickling water sang an enchanting song along with the birds that flew overhead. I looked for God all afternoon on that mountain, in the streams that collected in pools of water, in the flowers that dance in the wind. I even looked for God at the top of the mountain, where the valley lay below, but still, I could not find Him, so I just kept walking.

I reached the jungles that lay in the valleys at the bottom of the mountain. Greenery interlaced in and out of the trees like intertwined fingers. Exotic animals, some of which I’d only seen pictures of in library books, ran free. Radiant flowers adorned the plants and bushes that I passed. But still no God, so I just kept walking.

Soon, I came to the desert. The sun beat down with great intensity. Lizards scampered across the scalding sand. The heat that rose caused mirages to appear in the distance. Cacti grew from the auburn sand, and I stood there once again, amazed by the beauty that encompassed me. But, to my disappointment, God still evaded me. So I just kept walking.

I found myself at the edge of the earth, where the ocean crashed against the sandy shores. Out across the vast water, I witnessed a school of dolphins playing. Pelicans swooped down and caught unsuspecting fish.

The sweet smell of the ocean air filled my lungs as I took a deep breath and continued my search for God. Yet, all I could find were rocks; smooth and round from the ocean, and shells that were once inhabited by living creatures.

The skies had begun to darken and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever find God. I’d looked in the city. I’d look in the streets. I’d looked in the golden waves of wheat. I’d looked in the mountains. I’d looked in the jungles. I’d looked in the sands of the desert. And there I was, on the beaches of the ocean, and still, I had not found God. And I didn’t feel like walking.

So, I sat on the cooling sand and began to think. I thought about the buildings of my hometown, and how they were in ruins. I thought about the road I began to walk down and how it was crumbling. Man had made these things, and now they were deteriorating.

Then I began to think about the wheat fields, the mountains, the jungle, the desert and the beach that I was sitting on. I thought about how beautiful it all was. I then looked up at the sky, and took in the beauty of the stars. The way they shined in the blackened vastness.

I began to realize that God is all around us. He’s in the breeze that blows the wheat. He’s in the streams that water the mountain blossoms. He’s in the vines that cover the jungle. He’s in the warm sand that blankets the deserts. He’s in the waves that crash on the beach. He’s even in the skies that stretch over it all.

With that knowledge, a peace came over me and I knew that I had found God. And He was Wonderful. He was Beautiful. He was more than I had hoped to find. He was God, and I didn’t have to just keep walking.

Psalm 19:1 “The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.”

Wow, a lot happens in 8 months...

Life keeps happening in spite of the fact that I haven't blogged about it in about 8 months. I'll give a quick overview and then "hopefully" I'll be a bit more diligent in my blogging.

In September, Savannah started 1st Grade. She is a good student, and mostly enjoys school. I'm praying for the opportunity to homeschool her, but until that time, I am confident that God will use her (and my) time at that school for His glory.

In October, our baby girl turned 6! She had a doggy themed party. All her guests came dressed as doggies and she had a doggy shaped cake made with love by Grammie. I spent the entire week before the party redoing her room.


November was a time for celebrating family and being thankful for all God has done for us. We had TWO Thanksgivings! One the day before with my side of the family, and then another one on the day of Thanksgiving with Wayne's side of the family.

It was pretty quite around here come December. Wayne had his celebration of Christmas with Savannah. It was a pretty quite day at our house. Just the way I like it. ;)

Savannah also received a Student of the Month award in December, for Responsibility.

January was pretty uneventful. Not much to report.

In February, Savannah performed at her school's talent show with three of her friends. They were gummy bears! She did such a wonderful job. Not only did she remember all of her moves, but she performed wonderfully too! It reignited her desire to dance, so we re enrolled her in dance. So, now she is dancing (tap, ballet, and jazz) and doing gymnastics.

February also brought a surgery to my door. During my yearly "girly" doctor appointment, my ob/gyn found a large fibroid on the posterior of my uterus. He said it was rather large and wanted me to have an ultrasound done to see exactly what it consisted of.

Well, during that ultrasound, the tech found no fibroid, but she did find a large cyst on my right ovary. I have known about this cyst since my ultrasound almost 7 years ago, when I was pregnant with Savannah. I had also seen a picture of it from when I had the laparoscopy three years ago. It didn't concern me too much, until they started throwing around words like "complex" cyst and "solid components."

Due to the fact that it was no longer just a simple cyst but was now a complex cyst with solid components, they ordered a pelvic MRI. After my doctor received the results from the MRI, he referred me to an oncologist. I wasn't too concerned, at this point because of all the research I had done. Plus, just as with the Asherman's Syndrome, I knew God would receive the glory and that He had a plan for this situation. (By the way, only about 1% of ovarian cysts are cancerous, and statistically they are in women 50 years of age or older.)

To make a long story short, I saw the oncologist and showed him the picture of the cyst that I had from the laparoscopy and he too, did not seem concerned. However, due to the size of the cyst, he did say it would need to be removed.

A few weeks later, I went in for surgery and the removed the cyst, which was the size of a grapefruit. It was so large, that it was actually nestled in my colon. It was also a dermoid cyst. The "solid component" was a ball of hair. I've had this cyst my entire life and only really felt its existence when I ovulated. It's a strange feeling to be pain free during ovulation for the first time in my life.

Which brings us to March. This month brought a new mile stone in Savannah's growth. She lost her first tooth! She also had her 1st Grade performance at her school, which had a patriotic theme. Her class sang The Star Spangled Banner and a few other songs.

There are a few other things that I want to add, but they are recent enough to warrant their own posts.