Where to begin...

I honestly don't know where to start. Should I use the "worst fears realized" line? Should I start with my sob story? Should I start with just the facts? I guess I should just start at the beginning...

After Savannah was born, my midwife told me that I had a short umbilical cord, so instead of placing her on my chest, she could only reach my stomach. I had a hard time expelling my placenta. It came out in pieces and the midwife was forced to piece it together to be sure she got it all. She called it "sticky placenta."

About 30 minutes later, Wayne was holding Savannah when the room started to spin and I blacked out. It seemed as though my uterus was hemorrhaging, and I was put on an IV and given pitocin. I had to stay in the hospital for an extra day to get my blood levels back up.

Three weeks later I woke up to a wet bed. I had begun to hemorrhage again. Wayne grabbed our newborn and myself and we headed to the emergency room where they performed and ultrasound. It seemed as though I had a retained placenta.

A few days later I went into the ob/gyn that worked in the same office as my midwives. She performed a D&C (dilation and curettage) in her office noting that there was only a 5% chance that I would hemorrhage. Well, I began to hemorrhage after she finally was able to remove a very stubborn piece of placenta.

I was again rushed to the ER where a balloon was inserted into my uterus in order to stop the bleeding. I was in the hospital for 3 days and 2 nights (away from my then three week old baby, mind you.) I was put on super strong anti-biotics in case any infection had occurred over the three weeks that the retained placenta was in my uterus. I was pumping every two hours since I'd be damned if this would affect my milk supply for my daughter.

Fast forward 2 years. I was trying to prepare my body to TTC (try to conceive) again, but had yet to get AF (a period) back. I did have some spotting, but I figured that AF wasn't back full force yet because I was still nursing my daughter. So, in March of 2006 I weaned her at 2 1/2 years old. I waited a few months, and still just spotting.

At this point I start to get a bit concerned, not that anything major is wrong, but that my body is having a hard time regulating my hormones, so I take a trip to the midwives. I tell her my concerns, and how I haven't gotten AF back. Her first thought, although she didn't say it formally, was Asherman's Syndrome. How she explained Asherman's is that the inside of the uterus is covered in scars, which to my thinking, would be easily explained by my after-birth experience.

We talk about other reasons, like hormones, but this Asherman's Syndrome is stuck in my head. She sends me off saying that I should chart my cycles for two months to see if I'm ovulating and then come back in to see an ob/gyn since she isn't qualified to handle such things.

The whole hour drive home I cry my eyes out. She made Asherman's (which in my gut I knew I had) was irreversible and that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant again. So, the first thing I do when I get home is research Asherman's and found this:

From www.ashermans.org :

"If the patient has had a D & C and this was done between the 2nd & 4th weeks after delivery, she has a very high risk of developing Asherman's Syndrome, a risk which is probably increased if she is breast feeding (due to low estrogen) and which may be diminished if some steps are taken soon.

If retained placenta is suspected, IT IS NECESSARY TO HAVE AN ULTRASOUND AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. If there is a significant amount of retained placental tissue (the finding of a "complete and intact" placenta at the time of delivery is not 100% accurate), this is an accident waiting to happen!"

This all but confirmed it for me. Retained placenta. D&C three weeks postpartum. Breastfeeding at the time. Yah. I was sure.

I was very lucky to have found an online community through www.ashermans.org and joined immediately even though I have yet to be diagnosed. They have flooded me with a wealth of knowledge to where I actually feel that there is hope that someday, in the not so far away future, my womb will once again be fruitful.

So, this blog will more than likely be filled with updates on my prognoses as well as treatments. I'm actually going to do some updating right now, but I will start a new entry.

All of your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated.

Much love,

Tami